by Reuben M. Chow, Living-With-Grief.com

Certain materials are usually strongly associated with  the passing of our loved ones.

In my case, some examples would be the framed photographs used during the funeral processions, the newspaper clippings of the obituaries, the funeral service booklets, even the hospital bills, etc.

For some time after the passing of my parents, I left these items in full view. It was almost as if I wanted to see them often, even every day, and be reminded of the events which had unfolded.

Then came a time when I decided this was doing me no good at all. These materials are associated with unhappy events, of illness and death, of tears and emptiness. In the long run, I was doing harm to my emotional, mental, and perhaps even physical health.

Thus, one day, I made a decision and stashed most of these items away.

It’s not that I do not want to be reminded of my parents; this couldn’t be more untrue. But it wasn’t ideal to be constantly recollecting those dreary moments and the negative emotions which came with them.

On the contrary, it makes much more sense to be seeing things which evoke positive emotions, for example photographs from happier times together.

To some extent, doing this has helped to lift a little burden off my back, a burden which I had been all too happy to carry for too long.

When the timing is right, this is a good thing to do, as we make positive steps towards the remaining part of our life journey without our departed loved ones.

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