Learning to embrace grief and draw new strength and meaning from it.

Memorable Songs

by Reuben M. Chow, Living-With-Grief.com

There are a few songs which always bring a tear to my eyes. Some because my parents liked them. Some because I once heard my parents sing them. Some because we sang them together. Some just because their lyrics feel so applicable, or remind me of something.

Often, I am overwhelmed with emotion when I chance upon these songs. To be honest, I have not found a way to deal with these strong feelings.

But, I tell myself, perhaps there isn’t the need to.

I’ll be frank here — I sometimes even deliberately spend some time listening to these songs and almost indulge myself in feelings of sadness and nostalgia.

No, I’m not a masochist, and, no, I certainly don’t enjoy feeling sad. But such episodes serve almost like a detox program, allowing me to release periods of pent up emotion within me. Usually, after it’s over, I feel better.

What is really important, I feel, is that I do not over-indulge. If I feel my sadness getting out of hand, I run — switching to happy songs, or meeting people, or just making sure I get busy.

And the other thing we need to do to avoid over-indulgence, is to ensure that this ”activity” only takes place once in a while.

For someone in a depressive state or who is still very much in the initial stages of the grief journey, I would personally think it’s unwise to deliberately dwell deeply in the memories of the departed loved ones. This, of course, is my personal opinion.

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