Hurt From The Loss of Many Loved Ones
by Reuben M. Chow, Living-With-Grief.com
In some ways, my grief experiences — the loss of my parents in my 20’s, which is earlier than most people — have hardened me to the possibility of losing loved ones.
Yet, at the same time, I feel that grief experiences build on each other, and almost multiply the hurt that one goes through.
For example, after my mum passed on, I would miss her, and feel terribly sad from time to time. But that was it, I missed her. One person.
Since dad passed away, however, I often find myself being sucked into a downward spiral of grief. All I need is to think of one of them, feel a little sad, and suddenly, I’m missing both of them, and perhaps feeling twice as sad.
Throw in a grandma and an aunt, who also left during the same period, and it’s like, hey, I’m thinking about a whole load of people.
I wonder if others feel the same way too.
And, you know, one thing is for sure — unless I am the next one to go, there will be more loved ones being added to the mix.
Will the grief become increasingly difficult to bear over time? I’m not sure. I would think I will learn to cope with it, when the time comes.
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Posted: August 27th, 2008 under All Articles on Grief, Emotions of Grief, Grief Cycle of Recurrent Challenges, Symptoms of Grief.
Comments: 5
Comments
Comment from Grace
Time: November 4, 2008, 9:42 pm
Hi Reuben,
I can understand how you feel. I have had the same experience too. Lost both parents within 2 years. We do not have to grief forever. If your loved ones were redeemed (believed in Jesus Christ and saved from sin before death), they are with the Lord. As Jesus Christ resurrected from the dead so will they on the resurrection morning. We are told to comfort one another with these words. If you too are a christian and saved from sin, the bible says we should not sorrow like those who have no hope. We have a hope that transcends the grave. To christians, death is only a gateway to glory. It is not an end. So accept the comfort of the Scriptures. Jesus Christ has conquered death for us.
Cheers!
Grace
Comment from Reuben @ Living-With-Grief.com
Time: December 11, 2008, 1:54 pm
Hi Grace,
Thanks for your comment.
Indeed, death is but a transition. But while we are still in our mortal bodies, it is sometimes difficult to comprehend or internalize. With time, we will grow toward that understanding.
In the meantime, I feel we will still grieve, at least from time to time, in the same way we hunger, we thirst or we feel tired. That’s part of being human. There is of course no need to go looking for it, but if it comes, it comes; there is no need for us to deny it, christian or not. But ultimately, yes, I believe hope will conquer all.
Cheers!
Comment from Karen Morse
Time: March 8, 2009, 4:24 pm
Hello Reuben,
I was researching the internet trying to find ways to deal with my grief and found your website.
My grandmother recently passed away in November 2008. She was not only my grandma but such a good friend. I was 30 and she was 85. There have been other deaths before that such as 2 of my uncles, a cousin, and my sister-in-law. All of which were within a close amount of time.
But the death of my grandmother has been extremely difficult. I was so close to her and still find myself going to call her but then realizing I no longer can. I haven’t been able to delete her number out of my cell phone. I cry at least once a day because I miss her so much and the realization that she is no longer here is sometimes so unbearable. It has even got me thinking about my own life and the reality that I will one day be gone as will the rest of my family and friends. I truly believe in God but still haven’t been able to find peace about my grandma’s death and death in general.
Even as I type about it here, the tears will not stop. Now I find myself calling my mother more often for fear of losing her. I know that this is no way to live, and I pray every day for God to bring me through the hardships and tribulations.
I just wanted to thank you for your writings. I know that I am not alone in the way I am feeling.
Thank you again,
Karen Morse
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Comment from Reuben @ Living-With-Grief.com
Time: June 9, 2009, 10:03 am
Hi Karen,
Thanks for your comment. I hope you are feeling better now. I wish you all the best in this journey.
Reuben
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