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Hanging on to the Past: Mobile Number

by Reuben M. Chow, Living-With-Grief.com 

When my mum passed on, my dad took over the use of her mobile phone and number.

Almost exactly four years later, my dad passed on, too.

It has been more than three years since, yet I am still holding on to the number.

It has been more than a thousand days, but the number of times I have actually used that number can literally be counted on one hand. Yet I still cling on to it. And I wonder why.

It’s a classic case, I think, of clinging on to the past, of refusing to let go. Subconsciously, it gives me a false sense of security to be hanging on to something which used to belong to them.

Quite honestly, it’s a waste of money keeping a number which I don’t even use.

I want to move on. I want to let go. And I hope to do it soon.


Comment from Tonya
Time: April 10, 2009, 7:24 pm

I lost my oldest son in January 2008. My husband and I continue to pay for his cell phone so that we can call to hear his voice. I can’t imagine not being able to call to hear his voice and that is probably where the comfort comes from; knowing that I can hear his voice. You are right that it is expensive and a false sense of security, but it is comforting too. My son was killed by a drunk driver, so there wasn’t an opportunity to say goodbye one last time. He was also only 17 years old, still in school. That in itself could be the difference between your grief and mine. I wish you well on your journey.

Comment from Reuben @ Living-With-Grief.com
Time: June 9, 2009, 11:55 am

Hi Tonya,

I can only imagine how painful it must be to lose a young son. Please take care, and I wish you all the best, too.

Comment from Paula Gsell
Time: June 11, 2009, 12:26 pm

I feel for all of you…I just lost my Dad, and I am now moving into my mother’s home to now take care of her, she is ill and 83 years old, she and my father were married 63 years, I feel her pain and my own, Losing our loved ones is the hardest thing we can live with, but I do agree that the growth for me being a better human being will emerg from this very painful situation.

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