by Reuben M. Chow, Living-With-Grief.com

Today, on another website, I read about a lady who lost her husband 3 years ago.  She had expected things to get better; however, this third year has been the most intensely emotional for her.

She added that she felt a part of her was moving on. However, she is grieving this ‘moving on’, and she asked if this is normal.

I’ve never lost a spouse and I can only imagine how much it must hurt, especially if the couple were deeply in love.

Personally, I feel the grief of losing my parents will never fully leave me. It’s almost a good 7 years since my mum suddenly passed on, and sometimes the hurt feels as real as if things were unfolding before my eyes.

Truth be told, I don’t think I’ve said goodbye to my departed parents.

So, for this lady to be feeling the pain a mere 3 years after her husband passed on is, in my view, nothing ‘abnormal’ at all. 

Feeling the pain is okay. What’s important, I said, is to allow oneself to express those negative feelings. Talk, cry, scream, something like that - whatever helps for the individual.

It helps when we let memories of our departed loved ones be sources of strength instead of being an emotional burden.

The best way to remember them is to make our lives living legacies to them.

I know what the lady means about ’grieving’ for moving on. While I don’t know if this is so-called ‘normal’ after losing a loved one, I can say I feel it too.

It’s almost like, subconsciously, we want to continue feeling sad. Maybe we are afraid that moving on and being happy means we have forgotten our departed loved ones.

But this is not good. Guilt is a bad, bad, bad emotion.

No matter who we have lost, and under whatever circumstances, we owe it to ourselves as well as those still around us to live the rest of our days happily, in a fulfilling way.

I’m sure this is what they would want.

Popularity: 41% [?]