by Reuben M. Chow, Living-With-Grief.com

Perhaps, when we were very young, we innocently believed that life was all smooth and rosy and that all the people dear to us would be around with us for a long, long time, if not forever.

Once you’ve lost one loved one, however, everything changes.

It’s almost like, having been exposed to death in and around the family, one becomes very much more aware of our vulnerability.

There were a number of deaths in my family from 2001 to 2005, including those of both my parents. To be honest, thinking about it, I am sometimes gripped with fear, fear of who is the next one, or who are the next ones, to go.

That fear, if left unchecked, can be highly detrimental to my mental and emotional wellbeing.

Fear is usually unhealthy. Especially if it paralyzes us.

I try to channel this fear towards positivity. For example, I remind myself to live each day as fully as I can, and to treasure every moment I have with my loved ones. Importantly, I remind myself not to take them, and things, for granted.

Of course, it isn’t easy, and lapsing into complacency is a human speciality. But I try — it’s much better than not doing anything at all, and allowing the fear to consume me. That would be totally undesirable.

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