Learning to embrace grief and draw new strength and meaning from it.




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How to Deal with Grief in the Short Term

Reaching New Life Equilibriums

by Reuben M. Chow, Living-With-Grief.com

I realize it’s been a good 9 months or so since I last posted anything on this website.

To me, that can mean one thing – I have very much moved on in my life, and grief for lost loved ones no longer subsumes my everyday existence like it used to. Read more »

Joining The Dots

by Reuben M. Chow, Living-With-Grief.com

Losing a loved one is a very trying experience.

At that point, almost everything seems doom and gloom, and life can be pretty empty. Read more »

Saying Those Last Words And The Final Goodbye

by Reuben M. Chow, Living-With-Grief.com

The loss of both my parents, although both to illness, were very different experiences. Read more »

The Importance of Being Weak

by Reuben M. Chow, Living-With-Grief.com

This society of ours values strength. The fittest survive, the best win, the strongest top the chart, and what not. Read more »

Keeping in Touching Distance of Others

by Reuben M. Chow, Living-With-Grief.com

As we mourn the loss of our loved ones, it is often tempting to retreat into a shell, to build a barrier and shut ourselves away from the love of others, and any interaction with them. Read more »

The Period After the Immediate Period

by Reuben M. Chow, Living-With-Grief.com

During the immediate period after the passing of a loved one, we are usually surrounded with care, concern and the support of friends, relatives and other associates. They ask how we are, they go easy on us, they console us, and they volunteer whatever help is needed. Read more »

Guilt, the Undesirable Emotion

by Reuben M. Chow, Living-With-Grief.com 

When a loved one leaves, invariably, there would be discussions which have not been completed, conflicts which have not been resolved, quarrels which have not been settled, things which have not been done, forgiveness which has not been given, love which has not been shared, and words which have not been said. Read more »

Being a Living Legacy of Our Departed Loved Ones

During the early days after the passing of my dad in 2005, I was, naturally, feeling rather empty.

There were ‘whys’, ‘ifs’, and ‘buts’. Read more »

Tears help; let them flow

by Reuben M. Chow, Living-With-Grief.com

Over the course of the past few years, I’ve lost track of the number of times I’ve teared or really cried due to grief. For me, the tears come in two main forms – those that come after the recollectation of certain events or words, and those that arrive in the midst of dreams. For the latter, it’s often a blur to me as to whether I actually did awake in the middle of the night and cried, or whether I had simply cried in my dreams. Read more »

Why Me?

by Reuben M. Chow, Living-With-Grief.com 

I was the first among those close to me to lose a parent. And then I lost the other. Each time, I recall having asked “why me?” It’s a common question, which I’m sure many of us do ask when we encounter setbacks in life. I was in shock, and I was 100% certain I would have treasured my parents better if I had seen this happen to someone else first. Read more »