Learning to embrace grief and draw new strength and meaning from it.




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    Welcome to Living-With-Grief.com.

    Hi everyone. I'm Reuben. Living-With-Grief.com is inspired by the passing of my mum and dad through illness, in 2001 and 2005 respectively. I was 22 and 26 then. It hasn't been easy, and it has often been a painful experience.

    Why "living with" grief, as supposed to "overcoming" grief or "recovering from" grief? Because, even though I have moved on in my life, adapted to a new routine and embarked on new adventures, the grief has never fully left me - it comes and goes all the time. In fact, I suspect it might never do so. Sometimes, each passing of a loved one even seems to build on the other, deepening the hurt. The healing journey is long and laden with obstacles - it's been years, but I know I have not yet bade them farewell. And, I'm under no illusions - there will be more of such losses to come in the future.

    However, amidst the sorrow and tears, I have discovered nuggets of opportunity for peace and growth. I don't want to overcome my grief, and most certainly don't want to deny it. I want to learn to embrace it. The grieving journey has been a powerful experience, giving me new insights and perspectives on life. Life has never been the same again, nor will I ever be the same again. Through Living-With-Grief.com, I hope to share this journey with you, a journey of embracing our grief and drawing new strength and meaning from it. It can be done.

     

    See the most recent articles below:

  • Turn Your Focus Away From The Departed
  • Grief, Suddenly
  • They Live In You, Not In A House, Nor In Stuff
  • Reaching New Life Equilibriums
  • 9 Year Death Anniversary of Mother

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Welcome to Living-With-Grief.com.

Hi everyone. I'm Reuben. Living-With-Grief.com is inspired by the passing of my mum and dad through illness, in 2001 and 2005 respectively. I was 22 and 26 then. It hasn't been easy, and it has often been a painful experience.

Why "living with" grief, as supposed to "overcoming" grief or "recovering from" grief? Because, even though I have moved on in my life, adapted to a new routine and embarked on new adventures, the grief has never fully left me - it comes and goes all the time. In fact, I suspect it might never do so. Sometimes, each passing of a loved one even seems to build on the other, deepening the hurt. The healing journey is long and laden with obstacles - it's been years, but I know I have not yet bade them farewell. And, I'm under no illusions - there will be more of such losses to come in the future.

However, amidst the sorrow and tears, I have discovered nuggets of opportunity for peace and growth. I don't want to overcome my grief, and most certainly don't want to deny it. I want to learn to embrace it. The grieving journey has been a powerful experience, giving me new insights and perspectives on life. Life has never been the same again, nor will I ever be the same again. Through Living-With-Grief.com, I hope to share this journey with you, a journey of embracing our grief and drawing new strength and meaning from it. It can be done.

 

See the most recent articles below:

Turn Your Focus Away From The Departed

From time to time, you may get swept away by the emotions that come with missing your departed loved ones.

This often comes out of nowhere, set off by the smallest trigger. Read more »

Grief, Suddenly

Eleven years ago, 6 October was also a Saturday.

It was a sunny morning, I remember. Read more »

They Live In You, Not In A House, Nor In Stuff

This is something which I was in the process of writing almost a year ago, but I somehow got distracted. Am now revisiting this topic here.

In August 2010 last year, I moved into a new house. It wouldn’t exactly be a big deal – after all, people move all the time – except that I had lived in the same house all thirty plus years of my life. All the years I spent with my late parents, plus most of the best memories with them, took place in that house and its surrounding neighbourhood. Letting go of that wasn’t exactly an easy thing to do. Read more »

Reaching New Life Equilibriums

by Reuben M. Chow, Living-With-Grief.com

I realize it’s been a good 9 months or so since I last posted anything on this website.

To me, that can mean one thing – I have very much moved on in my life, and grief for lost loved ones no longer subsumes my everyday existence like it used to. Read more »

9 Year Death Anniversary of Mother

by Reuben M. Chow, Living-With-Grief.com

It’s been 9 years.

So many things have happened in those 9 years. Life has changed so much. In fact, the world has changed so much. Read more »

Dealing With the Belongings of a Departed Loved One – To Discard or To Keep

by Reuben M. Chow, Living-With-Grief.com

When a person passes on, it is inevitable that he or she leaves behind many “things” and belongings. This is even more so today, when everyone seems to have more “stuff” than in the simpler past.

And, generally, the bigger the house, and the longer a person has lived there without conscious effort to de-clutter, the more things he or she would accumulate over the years. Read more »

Have You Ever Been Part of a Funeral?

by Reuben M. Chow, Living-With-Grief.com

Have you ever attended a funeral? I’m quite sure you have.

But have you ever participated in one? Read more »

Hanging on to the Past: Mobile Number

by Reuben M. Chow, Living-With-Grief.com 

When my mum passed on, my dad took over the use of her mobile phone and number.

Almost exactly four years later, my dad passed on, too. Read more »

One More Christmas With Them

by Reuben M. Chow, Living-With-Grief.com

It is the festive season again. Sometimes, I can barely believe how each year just zips by before us.

It is a pretty well-known fact that such seasons, where people spend time with loved ones, evoke strong, painful memories for those who have lost loved ones, and strong feelings of loneliness for who do not have loved ones. Read more »

Joining The Dots

by Reuben M. Chow, Living-With-Grief.com

Losing a loved one is a very trying experience.

At that point, almost everything seems doom and gloom, and life can be pretty empty. Read more »